Relational Therapy
Noticing the same relationship patterns?
People often come into therapy struggling with relationship issues and blame themselves.
You may notice the same relationship patterns over and over: coworkers who frustrate you, friends who don’t come around as often as they could (and you don’t make much of an effort either, if we’re being honest), and a romantic relationship that has been turned upside down. Maybe you think, “Oh no, I think my husband is like my dad,” or worse, “I’m acting like my mom.” You feel like it’s impossible to set boundaries for fear of being “mean” and can’t have an important conversation without having a panic attack beforehand.
The interesting thing about humans is that we are all our own individual selves trying to live in the same world. You can’t be your individual self and make everyone happy. Everyone can’t make you happy, either. To have successful relationships, we need to learn how to interact with other people: communicate better, set clearer boundaries, and stand your ground and know what you want. This is where people go: “I have never thought about what I want. I didn’t think it was possible.” That’s where our work comes in.
You might be struggling with:
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Boundaries
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People-pleasing
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Overfunctioning
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Difficulty facing conflict or rejection
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Repeating unhealthy relationship patterns
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Struggling with attachment/vulnerability
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have difficulty knowing what they actually want
Now, are you the cause of all the problems in a relationship? No.
Have you contributed to a relationship dynamic that is causing problems? Likely so.
A lot of people say that they are afraid they are the problem and their therapist doesn’t know.
I will challenge what I am seeing, and I’ll also normalize that we have all contributed to some unhealthy dynamic at some point in our lives, and that it is hard to break.
Making changes in a relationship doesn’t mean you’re rude, no one likes you, or you’re a failure. It’s empowering to notice something you don’t like, confront the situation, and then see it get better.
Goals that I often work on are:
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Setting boundaries
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Identifying your values
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Clarifying your needs
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Improving communication
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Navigating conflict
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Reducing people-pleasing
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Understanding emotional responsibility
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Breaking unhealthy relationship patterns
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Increasing emotional awareness